A Low Cal Edition of the Adam Graham Program

Tonight’s episode focuses on the decline of the Atkins Diet and dieting in general. Tune in for a low carb, low cal edition of the Adam Graham program:

Part One

Part Two

Screwtape Returns: Taking Christ Back From the Republicans

Author’s Note: The following is a continuation of a series I wrote from May, 2003-November, 2004. More information is available at The Screwtape Reports. The first 22 Screwtape Reports, along with 10 never before published reports will be released in book form shortly.

From: Dave Screwtape

To: Democratic Members of Congress, Liberal Clergy, Opinion Leaders, and Activists

Subject; The Right Picture of Jesus

As I returned from an extended vacation, I was deluged with letters asking how we mitigate the Republican advantage with Christian voters. I think the solution is simple. As other Democrats have said, “We must take God back from the Republicans.” There is only one way to do that, and it is through Jesus Christ.

Christian Conservatives rarely talk about Christ in their public speeches, they talk about “God” or providence or “The Lord.” The reason for that they wish to be inclusive of all Americans who have any belief in God. That, and the fact that if they even end a prayer “in the name of Jesus” our allies in the press will go ballistic.

What we must do is borrow that phrase from the tacky bracelet, “What Would Jesus Do?” and use it to death. By saying, Jesus would do something often enough, you’ll convince enough Christians of the fact. Here are some examples.

“Jesus wouldn’t launch a war for oil against the Iraqi people. Jesus wouldn’t have appointed Alberto Gonzalez Attorney General. Jesus would spend more government money on the poor. Jesus would want everyone to have free health care. Jesus wouldn’t back a Constitutional Amendment banning Flag Burning.”

Now, we can do this with a variety of issues, but we all have to paint a good picture of Jesus. Jesus was a tolerant, loving, nice guy who cared about poor people. With that understanding, we can make any arguments we want that fits that picture and Christians will listen.

Thus, we can shift Christian concern away from issues like abortion and gay marriage to issues such as reducing poverty through government programs and more money for schools, because that is what Jesus would want.

There are several things must be avoided, particularly by the clergy. The most important thing is to not actually paint a full picture of the life of Jesus in your sermons and liturgies. Use scriptures that emphasize those statements most favorable to our vision of Christ or avoid using scripture altogether. Study books about the historical Jesus written by liberal scholars, not the Bible itself.

The Bible paints a very different picture of Jesus. The Jesus of the Bible is complex, unpredictable, and surprising. In dealing with the issues of his day, he was not a liberal or a conservative, nor did he just try and straddle the fence. He said what he believed and inflamed both the right wing Pharisees and the left wing Sadducees. He talked of forgiveness and mercy, but his first word as a preacher was “Repent.”

In a beautiful scene he saved the woman caught in the act of adultery and then made a very harsh intolerant demand on her by saying, “Go and sin no more.” The Bible also has Christ saying He is the only way to Heaven, which would put New Jerusalem in violation of Federal Civil Rights laws for religious discrimination in a public accommodation. For these reasons, keep as far from the Biblical account of Christ’s life as possible. Remember two quotes of Christ from scripture and that will suffice. “Judge Not” and “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Be certain not to quote these in context.

The other thing to be careful of is that you properly assign the commands of scripture. Moral commandments against no-fault divorce, or the ten commandments are strictly for Christian religious people who believe in them. Commands to take care of the poor are not for the church, but rather for Federal Welfare agencies and their bureaucrats. The original biblical context of the command doesn’t matter, whether it was spoke to Christians or to civil society, they must be assigned in such an order as to suit our agenda.

If we can convince the great mass of Christians to adopt our vision of Christ as a first century touchy feely hippy who came to be tolerant and create welfare programs than I think we’ll have this culture war won. The Evangelism and the teaching of the exclusivity of Christ will decline. In many mainline churches where this vision has been adopted, people have become increasingly tolerant of other views and lifestyles, and less attached to their own Christianity and even some of its major tenets like the resurrection.

Christ as a historical figure becomes less believable when stripped of all complexity and depth. The crucifixion becomes hard to swallow as we try and imagine a sugary nice guy being dragged to the cross. After that, Christ becomes just another moral philosopher along with Confucius, Buddha, and others. What Christians have traditionally considered “the Good News” becomes meaningless and empty.

The good news for such disoriented souls is that there is hope! There’s something that can bringing meaning to their lives and change to society. Chairman Dean and I would be more than happy to welcome you as committed volunteers for the Democratic Party.

Regards,
Dave Screwtape

The Screwtape Reports

By Adam Graham

If you liked what you read, there’s more in “The Screwtape Reports” now available from Lulu press.

San Francisco: Military Not Worth Honor

From San Fransisco we have news that after Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Ca) got $3 million appropriated to have it moved from Rhode Island to San Francisco, the board of supervisors rejected having the retired battleship USS Iowa in port as a museum.

According to the AP:

But city supervisors voted 8-3 last month to oppose taking in the ship, citing local opposition to the Iraq war and the military’s stance on gays, among other things.

“If I was going to commit any kind of money in recognition of war, then it should be toward peace, given what our war is in Iraq right now,” Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi said.

What utter nonsense. For one thing, the War in Iraq has nothing to do with WW2. Secondly, its amazing that the left is under the impression that soldiers are fighting for the cause of war.

A good soldier, a good military, a good general truly fights to bring the enemy to terms so that conditions of peace can be worked out. That’s how you get to the point of peace. Of course, peace has a price. As Patrick Henry said in “Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death”: “Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery!” Well the American left responds, “yeah, yeah” Patrick Henry would still cry out, “Forbid it Almighty God!”

Feinstein called it a “very petty decision.”

“This isn’t the San Francisco that I’ve known and loved and grew up in and was born in,” Feinstein said.

Now to be fair, Feinstein is definitely not a conservative (11% career ACU rating) but she’s fairly moderate for San Francisco, which says a lot about that town (The State’s other Senator whose also from San Fran has a career ACU rating of 2%) but this is today’s San Francisco. All the left has left these days is pettyness: attack a small town with few resources about a Ten Commandments monument, rip out a nativity display to preserve the Constitution, and be general busybodies. In the city by the Bay, of course they’re going to reject the service of soldiers for five decades on the USS Iowa because “Bush is evil, the military is evil, and we’re going to show them!” The American left today!

Why Homosexuals Hate Ex-Gays

From WND we have an article on a threat being made on the life of an ex-gay in San Diego. According to WND, the person (a concerned Community Member) wrote:

“The moment was never riper for the San Diego (LGBT) community to push for the elimination and suppression of the James Hartline’s (sic) of the world. We currently have an openly lesbian (interim) mayor of San Diego and an openly gay mayor of Chula Vista; PEOPLE….WE are in POWER! WE are IN CHARGE!”

Now, obviously these are the type of thoughtful people you want in charge. This is after all the American left, devoid of intolerance. Right.

I don’t say all Gays are wanting to murder people, but they clearly don’t like the ex-gays. People are more tolerant, more for things like gay marriage if they believe homosexuality is something immutable. If people think you’re just deciding to do this because you like it, and you could be hetrosexual if you wanted to, support drops quite a bit.

The ex-gay is a huge enemy of the homosexual community. They honestly probably despise ex-gays more than they do Fred Phelps, because the ex-gay is proof that change is possible.

Of course, they’re very happy if ex-gays stumble or fall because they say that proves that “once gay, always gay”. That’s nonsense. That’s like saying that one person falling off the bandwagon proves that alcoholism is hopeless and drunks should just learn to live with it.

Based on the fact that human failings and inability to stick with changes by some ex-gays proves homosexuality is unchangable than so is smoking, being overweight, doing drugs, and alcholism. People try all the time to quit these things and some, and in some cases most, end up failing.

The difference is that not all of them have a community and the whole media ready to welcome their failure as proof fat people can’t lose weight, or smokers can’t stop smoking.