Adam’s Blog

That’s my thing, keepin’ the faith, baby. –Joe Friday

It’s Time for Us to Pay Our Dues

Posted by Adam Graham on April 16, 2009

The Idaho Statesman cut me to the quick with their editorial this morning as they excoriated the incongruities in us Tea Partiers:

Idahoans will march along taxpayer-funded streets and gather in taxpayer-funded Boise city parks to protest taxes. A small irony.

An ungrateful wretch am I!

Now, some will frown on our friends at the Idaho Statesman and suggest that they are doing a double logical fallacy, mixing a reductio ad absurdum (that people protesting high taxes and government debt must oppose all government taxes and spending) with an ad hominem tu quo quo (ah ha, the people who are against high taxes uses servics paid for by taxes.)

However, not everybody believes in logic and it is not a required course in every journalism program. As logic is not universally taught or believed, we have no right to impose logic on anyone else. Being illogical is a valid alternate view and is no better than being logical and its intolerant to think otherwise.

It appears from the Statesman Article, that we truly must be thankful to our government and we have not shown the proper thankfulness for it.  We should put aside the rhetoric of ungrateful people like George Washington who described government as being like fire, a “dangerous servant and a fearful master” and instead realize that government is our friend and the more of it we have, the better off we are.

A week from today, we need to hold the Boise Government Subserviance Party. The Boise Government Subserviance Party will begin with a prayer to FDR, thanking him for the untold manifold blessings of the New Deal and pledging our last penny to keep the Social Security program exactly as it was when he brought the bill down off Mount Sinai.

We’ll then proceed to offer burnt offerings of lambs of the first year on the barbeque to our benefactors: State Controller Donna Jones, County Treasuruer Cecil Ingraham, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and of course Congressman Mike Simpson (R-Id.) who is endorsed by the Statesman repeatedly for his ability to bring home pork in a long caravan of U-haul trucks.

We’ll then make a general offering to the gods of Government. We could either burn our money or we could buy copies of big Government’s prophet, the Idaho Statesman. Either way, I see us getting about the same return, so it’s equal in terms of sacrifice.

Then, as our great act of repentance, we will go down to the legislature and completely reverse ourselves on local option taxes. We’ll urge a revision to the current bill,  so that it takes a 2/3 majority to reject a local option tax proposal. Why should a simple majority stand in the way of progress, the future, and empty buses running from Greenleaf to Boise?

We’ll also make sure only the most wise and informed among us can vote by allowing elections to be held on Christmas Eve with city buses being the only polling places.

Also, we’ll make it so  that there’s no limitation on where a local option taxing district could include.  The idea that only real political divisions like cities and counties could be local option districts is so provincial and such a hindrance to our legislators who need to come up with money to pay for schemes that primarily benefit our county, but for which our county’s taxpayers cannot pay.

We would urge further divsions on this bill. Local options shouldn’t just allow Ada County to rope Canyon County into a local option district It should also include non-bordering counties.  For example, in order to pay for public transit in Ada County,  not only should we be able to draft Canyon County, but we should also be able to draft Clark County into our local option district. Most of the people in Ada County don’t know where Clark County is, but that’s okay. The Idaho Tax Commission will have no problem locating them.

We hope these acts will appease the statist gods of the Idaho Statesman and that they find this attitude sufficiently pliant and abased.  And we will all look forward to the day when all of our paycheck goes to the government and it provides us with housing according to our needs, we no longer have cars, but are squeezed like cattle into public transit and are shuttled where the government says we need to go. The luxuries we receive will be according to the will of the all beneficient state who we ought not to question.

And hopefully over time,  we will forget about the nation that was founded by people who protested high taxes and feared the danger out of control government.  A day that many look forward to I’m sure.

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One Response to “It’s Time for Us to Pay Our Dues”

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