Someone call PETA, we’ve got a bunch of bear nappers on the loose. What kind of sick person kidnaps an innocent bear? How can the forest service possibly do their job without their beloved mascot? Who will stomp out all those forest fires careless campers let get out of hand? If the forest burns down, it’ll be all these cold-hearted bear-nappers fault.
Oh wait. They just stole the sign:
PRIEST LAKE, Idaho — U.S. Forest Service rangers are smokin’ mad.
Bandits have nabbed an iconic Smokey the Bear sign in Priest Lake, Idaho, and the federal agency wants it back.
The large wooden sign was chopped down and stolen sometime last week from outside the agency’s ranger station in this northern Idaho community.
Rangers say this isn’t just stealing. They say vandals have left the station without a safety-inspiring symbol that reminds folks to stamp out forest fires.
Uh… yeah. OOPs. Nevermind. Guess Smokey is still a myth and forest fires are still a result of poor forest management.